So if you didn’t read the first part of how Capture was born- check it out HERE. We left off and I was 18 years old and realized that not only do I love photography but I was pretty flippin’ good at it. I came to the point that it was time to go to college and I narrowed my search down to one school- the school in the town where my favorite singer lived- Ani Difranco. I mean how else do you base life altering decisions at 18 other than choosing a college based on where your feminist-kick-ass-angry-half lesbian favorite singer grew up. Oh and did I mention that town is Buffalo, NY? Doesn’t Buffalo, NY just scream sun, fun and college parties? I filled out the paper work, wrote my college essay on a goddamn type writer (what is it 1827?!) and got accepted. My dad put down the 1st semesters tuition, we went to visit (yes drove all 9 hours there and 9 hours back), I got my roommate and then decided two weeks before school started that this was a horrible idea, I don’t know what to do with my life and the world should probably just end at this point.
My dad was in France on a business trip and I made the international phone call from our land line that probably cost a fortune but did I happen to mention that my dad already PAID for the first semester of college that I was no longer going to? So I figured we probably even. (insert “still feeling guilty,” emoji here). After that very difficult phone call, a lot of tears, and some internal gut punching, my dad, stepmom and I sat down and looked at some options for me. We decided I would move in with them in Fairfield and go to the college down the street who graciously accepted me about 7 days before school started- Sacred Heart University.
I spent the first year not knowing what I wanted to do but I continued to feel a calling to photography. But Sacred Heart didn’t offer it as a major and my dad wasn’t too keen on spending any more money on a decision I clearly wasn’t ready to make. So I decided to take it upon myself to go to and pay for night classes in New Haven at the Creative Arts workshop. I spent my days in a college classroom and my evenings in a darkroom and tried to find more than just a grade out of either. It was time to do some serious soul searching and figure out what I wanted out of this life. That is such a tough age though when I think about it. The first year when you are a even considered an adult you are supposed to know what you want to with the rest of your life and if you don’t know what that is, you feel completely lost.
The next four years I worked hard on myself, dealt with some demons, learned some hard lessons about my past and tried to figure out who I really was. I was so fortunate to have gone to Sacred Heart because it was there that I developed my love for travel. I spent one semester in Ireland and one in Australia. The one constant that never changed no matter how confusing things got or what continent I was on- was photography. It once again proved to be a saving life partner that would be on my journey with me no matter what. My love for photography was and continues to be the only thing in my whole life that has never changed. It has only grown stronger and stronger each year as I try to make my way out of the rabbit hole.
When I graduated college I found myself Boston bound. Me and five girlfriends from high school all moved up there after college and lived either with each other or a few blocks away. What an amazing time! It was like the real world. I had six, count them- six roommates at one point. I had a job I hated but who the fuck cared, I wasn’t in Boston to work, I was in Boston to live! Little did I know that those two things have a lot more in common than you think and one year at a job I hated was enough for me to decide it was time for a change. I moved back to Ct to be closer to my family.
When I got to Ct I got the job that nearly all college grads get. The description will read something like, “Sales/Marketing executive position wanted: Excellent benefits, great base pay with commission and bonus available at all levels. Flexible hours and vacation time.” The college grad’s eyes light up and think- how amazing! Whether its selling knives, cars or newspaper advertising (like I did) it should read more like this: Sell your soul! Work the worst hours and get turned down 90 out of 100 times. Let people say no and say no often with anger at the mere sight of you. Don’t expect to hit those commissions or bonus’s because most people don’t want what you’re selling anyways so be ready to depend on that very low base pay that won’t be enough to cover the rent of your very first own place. Oh and you have to work here 27 years before you get a day of vacation. Apply today!”
Part of the reason I moved home was that my second niece had been born in March and I wanted to be closer to both my nieces. If you haven’t noticed I take the Auntie role with pride and always have. The thing is, that second niece wasn’t due until May 27th and on March 10th little baby Bella at 2 lbs 11 oz was born. This event rocked our whole world. The day I met her I of course brought my camera to document this life changing event. She was tinier than tiny could be. And in all the craziness, the tests, the tubes and the tears her 3 year old sister Hannah starred up at the TV in the hospital to watch cartoons. Probably the only thing that made any sense to her at this point with everything going on. I saw her simple innocent face in all the chaos of the unknown when it came to Bella’s life at that point and I snapped a photo. This was the result and THIS was the photo that began Capture Photography.
Todays post is of course brought to you by Ani Difranco-