I see your struggle. I can only imagine all the things that you do every single day. Things you never imagined were even possible for one human being. You take care of a home, a partner and your children all at once. And not only do you take care of them but literally every decision you make all day has a consequence that effects the ones you love the most. I cannot imagine the burden and the struggle you feel on an every day basis. But I sure wish I could.
You see I’m a 35-year-old single woman and I decided 11 years ago that I would follow my passion to be a photographer. But I ALWAYS knew someday I wanted to be a mom. I love my business with all my heart. I fight with her, cherish her, honor her, get angry with her, feel her losses and her wins. She’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing that crosses my mind when I go to bed. As you can tell, I found the love of my life at an early age 😉 That being said, the longing to be a mom has never faded, not one bit.
I promise I won’t pretend to know what it is to feel the feelings of a mom. But I can’t help but wonder, why are kids the acceptable reason to drink wine every night? Why are kids the reason we let ourselves go both physically and mentally? Why are kids the reason we stop having sex with our partner? If we knew these consequences to begin with- would we go back and make the same decisions?
I simply don’t have these answers because maybe my rose colored-childbearing-years don’t allow me see these as the realistic results of what it means to be a mom. All I see is love. But to be honest, if it were up to me I would be the most haggard, tired, and happiest mother I could possibly be.
I see the moms who can’t wait for their kids to go to bed, the moms who wish Christmas vacation was over, the moms who feel like summer vacation will never end. If I had a job that was 24 hours a day, 365 days a year I’d be looking for my break too! But I think it’s important for all of the moms (and dads) reading this to just take one minute, one hour or one day to reflect on how lucky they are to have this little human being who calls you mom. These tiny souls who look to you as their connection to this world.
I know I don’t struggle alone. I know people who have tried to have children and couldn’t. I know people who have lost children before they were even born as well as those who lost them at a young age. Guess what, none of it’s fair and none of it makes sense. Instead of pointing fingers at the mom who is tired I want to hold her hand and remind her that she’s doing a great job. You may be tired but you are very fortunate and you are very loved.
One thing is for sure, I know I will have a child or children of my own someday. I am confident that this is a part of my life that I simply haven’t experienced yet. But as I wait, patiently, I read and envy those tired moms and can only hope that one day my Facebook status will be about how exhausted I am or how I can’t wait for my kids to go back to school. That will be my most favorite Facebook post of all.
And to the moms who read this and had a moment to reflect- I honor you, I cherish you and I hope you see yourself with the wide eyes of wonder that I already see you with. You’re doing it and you’re doing an amazing job- don’t ever forget that. Maybe one of these days I’ll meet you at the playground in the middle of the morning and convince you that its wine thirty and we can bitch and moan about how these small terrors are simply the loves of our lives. And at the end of the day I’ll fall asleep out of exhaustion as a result of the love I gave all day long.